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SO let`s see if you "get" my humor!!

Author: Blaine (---.ph.ph.cox.net)
Date: 09-05-05 08:08

I am testing to see if humor is truly universal. This cute joke plays on words-so Darya should like it!!! A little koala bear wanders into a whorehouse. He climbs the stairs, finds a door open goes in to the room to find a naked prostitute asleep on the bed. He quickly climbs into the bed and begins performing oral sex on the prostitute. She wakes up and decides that since it feels so good she'll let him finish. The koala finishes, wipes his chin, climbs off the bed and heads for the door. The prostitute jumps up and yells at him "Hey, you have to pay for that". The koala shrugs and continues to head for the door. The prostitute yells at him again, "Hey you have to pay for that. I'm a prostitute". She gets up and pulls a dictionary off a shelf and shows the koala the definition.

PROSTITUTE (n) a person receiving payment for sexual services.

The koala shrugs, takes the dictionary and turns the pages to the definition of koala bear.

KOALA (n.) a small bear that eats bushes and leaves.

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Re: SO let`s see if you "get" my humor!!

Author: Blaine (---.ph.ph.cox.net)
Date: 09-05-05 08:28

In America,we tell a lot of jokes about Little Johnny. Little Johnny is usually a bad child who says or does the wrong things. This is a very old joke........Little Johnny is walking past his parents' bedroom in the middle of the night, to get a glass of water from the kitchen. Hearing a lot of moaning and noise from the bedroom, he peeks in and sees his parents having sex. Before the father even realizes he is standing there, Little Johnny says, "Oh, boy! Horsie ride! Daddy, can I ride on your back?" Johnny`s father is relieved that his son is not asking more uncomfortable questions, and because Little Johnny does not know whatis going on, agrees. Johnny hops on and daddy starts moving again. Pretty soon mommy starts moaning and making noise. Johnny cries out "Hang on tight, daddy! This is the part where me and the milkman usually get bucked off!"

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Re: SO let`s see if you "get" my humor!!

Author: Blaine (---.ph.ph.cox.net)
Date: 09-05-05 08:38

Okay--one more Little Johnny joke--please understand that little Johnny is not really a bad kid--he just does not understand the world!!............... A few months after his parents were divorced, little Johnny passed by his mom's bedroom and saw her naked. She was rubbing her body and moaning,"Oh ,I need a man,I need a man!"Over the next couple of months, he saw her doing this several times.One day, he came home from school and heard her moaning.When he peeked into the bedroom, he saw a man on top of her. Excited, Little Johnny ran into his room, took off his clothes, threw himself on his bed, started stroking himself, and moaning, "Ohh, I need a bike! I need a bike!"

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Re: SO let`s see if you "get" my humor!!

Author: Blaine (---.ph.ph.cox.net)
Date: 09-05-05 08:42

One more then I am done for a while..........
A nun was walking in the convent when one of the priests noticed she was gaining a little weight. "Gaining a little weight are we sister Susan?" he asked.
"No, Father. Just a little gas," Sister Susan explained.
A month or so later the priest noticed that she had gained even more weight. "Gaining some weight are we Sister Susan?" he asked again.
"Oh no, Father. Just a little gas," she replied again.
A couple of months later the priest noticed Sister Susan pushing a baby carriage around the convent. He leaned over and looked in the carriage and said, "Cute little fart."

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Re: SO let`s see if you "get" my humor!!

Author: tann (---.quantum.ru)
Date: 09-05-05 11:00

Well... it's just preferences. I prefer more subtle humour. But I am sure my neighbours would giggle at this.

The same type of jokes about Vovochka in Russia.

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Re: SO let`s see if you "get" my humor!!

Author: tann (---.quantum.ru)
Date: 09-05-05 11:15

How would you like this one:

"Due to negligence of the museum staff the picture of Kasimir Malevich was hanging upside down during the whole month...!"

Hope my translation didn't ruin the joke :)

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Re: SO let`s see if you "get" my humor!!

Author: Nadya (---.ukrlink.net.ua)
Date: 09-05-05 16:14

:)Tann, I think you can use insteed name of Kasimir Malevich many diffrent:Candinskiy, Mirro , Rotco etc...

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Re: SO let`s see if you &quot;get&quot; my humor!!

Author: tann (---.quantum.ru)
Date: 09-05-05 19:54

No, Nadya, I cannot. The meaning is about one of the most scandal picture "Black Square" by Malevich. For better understanding the joke the masterpiece is here: http://www.artchive.com/artchive/M/malevich/b_square.jpg.html

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Re: SO let`s see if you "get" my humor!!

Author: Nadya (---.ukrlink.net.ua)
Date: 09-05-05 20:27

Tanya, I saw this picture. I liked your joke. You are really a sitizen of S. Petersburg.

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Re: SO let`s see if you "get" my humor!!

Author: Blaine (---.ph.ph.cox.net)
Date: 09-05-05 20:53

I now understand your joke,Tann. It is related to local knowledge,which does make it funny,but only if you understand the circumstances involved.

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Re: SO let`s see if you "get" my humor!!

Author: Mixtli (128.221.4.---)
Date: 09-05-05 21:00

It still looks upside down to me...

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Re: SO let`s see if you "get" my humor!!

Author: Nadya (---.ukrlink.net.ua)
Date: 09-05-05 21:04

No, Blaine , it is a very faimous picture. Milliones people have seen her or have heard about her.

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Re: SO let`s see if you "get" my humor!!

Author: tann (---.quantum.ru)
Date: 09-05-05 22:03

Forgive me my sarcasm but I always thought it was related to basic knowledge. But at least Blaine you see that people understand humour when they know about circumstances involved :))

to Mixtli: I do not know...! :))

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Re: SO let`s see if you &quot;get&quot; my humor!!

Author: john (---.bos.east.verizon.net)
Date: 09-11-05 04:35

If I'm not wrong some lowlife here told a dirty joke about a nun.
I was a company commander years ago, and my response to that would have been to have that plumber consigned to digging many slit trenches just to keep the company area clean. If the shoe fits, wear it, Mac as we'd say in New York.

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Re: SO let`s see if you "get" my humor!!

Author: Blaine (---.ph.ph.cox.net)
Date: 09-11-05 06:57

A guy is riding the bus when at a stop, the most beautiful woman he has ever seen gets on. The only problem is that she is a nun. He decides to approach her anyway. "Sister, you are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen and I must have sex with you." he says.
"I'm sorry but I've given my body to God." she replies and then leaves.
Suddenly the man who is the bus driver turns around to the guy and says, "I know a way you can get her to sleep with you." The bus driver tells the guy about how the nun goes to confessional everyday at 3 in the afternoon. The bus driver tells the guy his plan and the guy leaves happy knowing he's going to get some. The next day at 3 the guy is in the booth dressed as a priest. When the nun approaches in the darkness he says "Sister, God has told me I must have sex with you."She replies "Well if God has said it, we must do it. However because of my strong commitment to God I will only take it up the ass."The guy figures this isn't a problem and proceeds to have the best sex ever. After it is over he whips off his outfit and says, "Surprise I'm the guy on the bus."With that the nun turns around and says, "Surprise I'm the bus driver man."

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Re: SO let`s see if you "get" my humor!!

Author: Blaine (---.ph.ph.cox.net)
Date: 09-11-05 06:58

Stick that sacred cow in your pipe and smoke it!!!

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Re: SO let`s see if you "get" my humor!!

Author: Mixtli (---.home.cgocable.net)
Date: 09-11-05 14:27

At least the nun didn't do anything wrong here ;-)

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