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 Need Help! New to site.

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Author: Kimberly  (---.insight.res.rr.com)
Date:   08-06-05 19:08

Hello everyone. I have a question that I hope one of you can help me with. I have recently become a paid member to this site. However, my emails are still being filtered. Not allowing me to send information such as my email address. It's stated in the questions section of the web site that paid members are allowed to do this? Am I doing something wrong? Thanks!

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 Re: Need Help! New to site.

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Author: Gabriel Magana  (---.dsl.anhm01.pacbell.net)
Date:   08-06-05 21:52

Hi Kimberly, send a message to #1313, she is Natalia and is a member of the web site staff, she'll be able to help you...

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 Re: Need Help! New to site.

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Author: Zhanna  (195.82.4.---)
Date:   08-06-05 22:23

Finally we have an American woman here :-). Kimberly, have you read what American men wrote here about American women? If I were you, I would be very angry with them :-). Stand up for all American women Kimberly! Gabriel Magana wrote:

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 Re: Need Help! New to site.

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Author: Zhanna  (195.82.4.---)
Date:   08-06-05 22:30

If you solve that problem with sending email address, could you send it to me? Today I got a message from icq member, it was an American man, 48. I wrote him back that he is a little bit old for me and lives too far. Then I asked why doesn't he want to find a woman in his own country and he answered that location doesn't matter for him. I sent him your profile (without your permission, sorry) and photo. Wanted to send a link, but he couldn't open it as he is not a member. He liked your profile and picture, so maybe I could be a matchmaker for you ;-)?

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 Re: Need Help! New to site.

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Author: Blaine  (---.ph.ph.cox.net)
Date:   08-06-05 23:28

Hi Kimberly,and welcome to the forum

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 Re: Need Help! New to site.

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Author: Paul  (---.ok.shawcable.net)
Date:   08-06-05 23:32

Zhanna, take it easy on the poor girl, I don't think she knows what she just got herself into. :-)

You just walked into the middle of a very interesting party Kimberly, you might want to read some of the previous threads at this site when you have some spare time.

But to answer your question, I am not sure what you might be doing wrong, maybe you are not doing anything wrong. Like Gabe says, you might want to check in with the site administator, we've always found her to be very good at her job.

But like Blaine says, welcome.

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 Re: Need Help! New to site.

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Author: Blaine  (---.ph.ph.cox.net)
Date:   08-06-05 23:33

I feel like I am a broken record--repeating myself over and over again. It is childish to think all people are the same. Zhanna,you have already alluded to your own opinion of me in one of your letters--something to the point that I am playing,or have so much time off of my job to play with Russian women . You have read me falsely with your narrow way of thinking,and if not,why do you not write to me? Was I not respectful and courteous to you? You,like Darya,talk some stuff but you still have your own agendas. You are close-minded to men. You have already decided who is who,who is not,and what is what. This is not the way it works. Do not try to guess what Gabriel or anybody else is thinking. If you want to know--really--just ask. If you disbelieve everything you read--everything,then there is little chance of building a relationship of trust with anybody. I am sure Gabe ,Lance,James, I, and many other men have reasons which are justifiable and believable. My reasoning for finding a foreign woman ( FSU in particular ) is simple. I want my family to have a richer ethnic and cultural background. It really is that simple. I have no culture or family traditions beyond those prescribed by Americans ( Christmas,Thanksgiving, etc.,etc. ) I come from a German,Swedish,and Native American background,yet I have none of these cultures to pass on to my children. My own daughter is a good girl,but has not gotten all that I would like her to know. I believe in family and heritage,and it is important to have something to believe in. And something more then just computer games to give your children. Strong values and ethics rule in my house. Women ( but not all! )have changed here in America. I should know the difference between my mama`s generation and those women of today. I was there for the 70s also--and they have even changed that much since then. I also said that American men have changed ( again--not all )--I did not leave anybody out of my opinion. Maybe you are the one being unrealistic in your search,and stereotypic in your views of men-especially American men. Some of us value loving family and regard the future of the world as the place where our kids will decide what is right and what is wrong. Family is fractured and not strong here,and a lot of men simply want stability, security,and comfort,and a woman who does not act and function like a man,and shares herself with a man--not demands her opinions only be kept.

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 Re: Need Help! New to site.

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Author: Blaine  (---.ph.ph.cox.net)
Date:   08-06-05 23:35

Hey Paul--how ya doin?

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 Re: Need Help! New to site.

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Author: Blaine  (---.ph.ph.cox.net)
Date:   08-06-05 23:38

Going to get a macanudo then be right back ( 20 minutes) to find out how this thread weaves and bobs

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 Re: Need Help! New to site.

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Author: Andrew  (---.vic.bigpond.net.au)
Date:   08-07-05 01:14

Hi Kimberly :)

Try sending it in a way that it will not be detected by the system.

I have seen this done before and it may work for you.

BTW I read your profile and you may need a large stick to beat the men away, be carefull of the crackpots ;-)

Good Luck

Zhanna, John has a valid point. This is not a war between men and women, loosen up. Honestly

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 Re: Need Help! New to site.

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Author: Kimberly  (---.insight.res.rr.com)
Date:   08-07-05 06:28

Thank you to everyone for the warm welcome and information. I have sent emails asking for assistance from the web site personnel. But to date I have not received one reply. I knew something must be working right as I am able to post to the forum now. But when I could not send an email including my email address without it being filtered, I knew there was a problem. I went back and re-read the site and now know for sure I am supposed to be able to with the paid membership. Oh well, if this is the only problem, I won't complain. Hope I can get it taken care of soon. It's frustrating.

Kim

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 Re: Need Help! New to site.

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Author: Kimberly  (---.insight.res.rr.com)
Date:   08-07-05 06:29

Thank you. I will do that right away. Your very kind.

Kim

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 Re: Need Help! New to site.

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Author: Kimberly  (---.insight.res.rr.com)
Date:   08-07-05 06:52

Hey Zhanna,

I try not to get to up in arms about what people post. I know there are many narrow minded people in the world who take their life frustrations and/or failures out by the most cowardly of means............posting to a web site where they know they will most likely never have to confront anyone about their posting. I try to think that I am very open minded. But I also know that once someone has been deeply hurt, they can take that hurt out in many ways that will narrow their perspective. As open minded as I think I am.......................I have my own haunts to deal with. Like the gentleman you was talking about . The 48 year old. I bet he is a very nice guy. But since my ex-husband was nearly 8 years older than me, I am extremely reluctant to date anyone that much older again. Yes, that is narrowed minded of me. Considering the time frame of our age difference, we just didn't have that much in common. But considering we met and married within 3 months and it lasted 13 1/2 years, I guess it was okay. So no, I don't mind that you sent it to him. I always like making new friends.

And Andrew, do you think I need to redo my profile? It may sound a little harsh. I read so much in the forum about people asking other people for money and such, I may have went over board making sure people know I am not here for that. I make my own way in the world. I have a saying, I might want you in my life, but I don't need you there. Yes, I know that can sound kind of mean. But I really am not. I think maybe I was trying a little too hard. I may go back and rethink my profile in a few days. :-)

Thanks again to everyone. Keep the info coming!

Kim

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 Re: Need Help! New to site.

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Author: Blaine  (---.ph.ph.cox.net)
Date:   08-07-05 07:42

I liked your profile. The more info the better.

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 Re: Need Help! New to site.

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Author: Andrew  (---.vic.bigpond.net.au)
Date:   08-07-05 07:48

Same, I liked it also Kimberley. You speak openly and do not just say the things you think men want to hear. Just wait and see what responses you get with it, If you dont like the type of guy it attracts then try something new.

Different bait for different fish ;-))

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 Re: Need Help! New to site.

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Author: James  (---.ma.dl.cox.net)
Date:   08-07-05 17:51

I appreciate your witty views and sharing. But Zhanna probably most guys posts only means that they havn't found what they look for. I wouldn't say something negative about American women as individuals , but perhaps as a whole they are used to having it all and there is nothing wrong with that. I know some very sweet American girls in my 5 yrs of divorce and that was ok , but something about you girls over there that just can't be found in some ways here . Maybe it is the way you take care and present yourselves or the culture or maybe it is the exotic way that you are tender and so personable in general. I just know that my attention is captured and am sure that I will find that right girl, especially if I wasn't so busy. :)

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 Re: Need Help! New to site.

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Author: Kimberly  (---.insight.res.rr.com)
Date:   08-07-05 19:55

Thank Blaine and Andrew I was wondering if it sounded okay. I knew what I wanted to say, but wasn't sure how it would come across to others. If I have any hope of meeting anyone, I need to be honest and up front from the beginning. I don't think I could be something I'm not even if I tried. LOL.

And James, I understand what your saying. I feel similar about American men. As you said, without being negative......................what I see in American men compared to men I have met from other countries is different values. What they hold important and what they appear to want out of life. In general there seems to be so much less importance in family. Of course we never want to group all cultures in one catagory, but our own life experiences sometimes certainly steer us in that direction. I see, around the area that I live, importance to men being material possessions. You know the saying "the need to keep up with the Jones". They seem to measure their life success by what they own. I find that very sad. In the United States there is a loss of the true meaning of values. And not enough appreciation for what each person does have. Sure, we would all like to have material things, who wouldn't. But one should never measure their success in life by that. To me, what matters is friendship, love, honesty, trust, bing a good mom and hopefully one day a good wife again.

Kim

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 Re: Need Help! New to site.

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Author: Zhanna  (195.82.4.---)
Date:   08-07-05 20:16

Hey, don’t you see smiles in my post? I was joking! There was really a lot of negative information (I have to say that not all men on the site were so critical about American women, and these men I respect more).

Dear Blain, I always though that we were friends and friends only. It sounded like you were disappointed because I didn't write you? Why? I decided that discussing some problems with other forum members would be more interesting, that's all. I am sorry that someone from my city cheated you, but maybe she had her own reasons.

Maybe you are right in a way, but your words that I my way of thinking is narrow sound rather rude.

About "too old, too far". Look, Kim wrote: "The 48 year old. I bet he is a very nice guy. But since my ex-husband was nearly 8 years older than me, I am extremely reluctant to date anyone that much older again." She is 5 years older than me and she also finds him being too old for her. So, why age shouldn't be a problem for me? The relationship with my American is so complicated that I decided if it doesn't work with him, I will not give it a second try with another older American, as this "too old, too far" will be a big problem again.

About the second, "too far" point. You men should also think of one thing. You choose only a woman, we choose not only a man, but a place to live and surrounding. Our live will change completely, not yours, we will have to move, to part with our families, being able in most of the cases to see our relatives only once or twice a year, not you. So we should really think twice. And even if my American says that it won’t be a problem financially, the trip isn’t easy itself. So, of course I would like to meet someone who wouldn’t live so far.

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 Re: Need Help! New to site.

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Author: Zhanna  (195.82.4.---)
Date:   08-07-05 20:25

Blaine wrote: "My reasoning for finding a foreign woman ( FSU in particular ) is simple. I want my family to have a richer ethnic and cultural background. It really is that simple." - I also heard that reasoning from my American, but now it turned out that my culture is bad as it doesn't allow women to live with men without being married to them.

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 Re: Need Help! New to site.

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Author: Blaine  (---.ph.ph.cox.net)
Date:   08-07-05 22:02

This is why people need a courtship time,so they can become as close as possible to each other,otherwise they will too quickly marry,then find out they are incompatible. As far as culture goes, here it is----Oktoberfest and Germanfest from the Germans in my family. A big orgy of beer, bratwurst,and German potato salad. Not bad beer, but still missing something. I want the legacy for my kids to be more than this. My Swedish roots--again, gaffelbitar,saffron bread, and other foods.. No wonder why so many Americans are obese--our sole cultural heritage is based on food!! My native heritage--lots of bickering and blaming ( and hatred of Euro America!),and I am not white enough or brown enough ( physically or spiritually) to fit into either side. As a kid I battled both sides --the Euro`s in my family and the prairie indians. The natives were even worse drinkers then the Germans. More crazy and wild. Where do Americans fit into the world? Many culture-less and uprooted transients with family that are scattered to the winds. No matter how many women I see and date,I always feel that hollow place in my soul that needs substance and meaning. I am not lonely for women,but part of me always feels unfulfilled.

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 Re: Need Help! New to site.

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Author: Zhanna  (195.82.4.---)
Date:   08-08-05 21:20

So, Kimberly, here is the address of that men, I think maybe I can give it as I am not giving my own address here :-) his name is Brian

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