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Author: Lorentz (71.116.235.---)
Date: 06-10-06 12:00
“K”- In the interim from me asking you for some more information, you have received some excellent input and sympathy for your circumstance. – This is one of the most positive aspects of interacting here in this Forum,- there are some legitimately concerned and sincerely nice individuals here that participate in these threads. It’s as if they were all originally from New York City; - day to day a bit whiny and rude, but should some genuine circumstance arise, you could find yourself in no better company.
The idea that you have both “oversold” yourself on the attributes of the man you met,- you refer to him as a “Prince,” – and that you have combined this with some expressions of your own insecurities, and ‘needy-ness’- is immediately obvious, and neither mindset is healthy or advantageous for your circumstance. – You ‘feeling bad,’ falling to pieces or discontinuing to interact on the net, - serves no one and exhibiting this attitude for your “Prince” will do nothing towards bringing you closer or help him with any decision that he may be faced with making. Have a little faith that he came all the way around the world to meet you and that you made a positive “connection” upon his visit, as most often, this indicates a certain degree of “mutuality.”
If in your answer to me, your “sensors” are telling you that you are the one and only interaction for this person on his “vacation” to the FSU, why doubt them now ?? – Pressuring him or ‘grilling’ him from 8,000 miles away is an awfully weak position to stand on. ( Of course you must consider that my advice could be just as bad as this idea that was suggested to you. ) It is entirely possible that he meant exactly what he said and nothing more or less. His expressed need for extra time may not be what you want to hear, - but if you have any true feelings for him, you must allow this without objection or “punishment” from your end. There are several substantial scenarios that would easily explain his actions. First, he may have only now come to grips with how truly difficult our governments have made it for he and you to allow you to come to this country. – These regulations have just this March become far more expensive and involved. - No less viable is the possibility that when actually “faced” with the reality of taking on the additional significant responsibilities of the care of another, as a divorced man with children in this country, he needed to seriously assess his position before taking action. – Consider if nothing else, that the fate of his children is a matter that remains before an arbitrary and unfeeling court, leaving his and their lives extremely vulnerable until they are all grown.
Unfortunately, any action you take at this point is counter productive to your stated goal. You are forced to sit, wait and do nothing if you are to have any chance at the outcome you desire. You are not in prison however, and therefore should endeavor to move forward without any anger or disappointment for your Prince, and most certainly none for yourself. ( How silly is that ?? ) You are who you are, and if someone hasn’t sufficient appreciation for your uniqueness, they are the very last person you should grant any power over you. – It’s much less painful to discover now that someone is not right for you than it is a couple years and a couple of kids down the road. – So, as we say out here in the wild, wild west, - it’s time to “Cowboy Up” get back on your horse and ride.
Sincerely, Your friendly neighborhood Viking.
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