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Author: Lorentz (---.lsanca.dsl-w.verizon.net)
Date: 05-01-06 18:52
Blaine; - Did I really use Sam Spade more than once ? - It’s my own fault. I type too fast, refuse to review and even if they had spell check here, I still wouldn’t use it, as that would spoil the spontaneity of interacting, plus involve extra effort that certainly Deputy Dawg doesn’t deserve. Had I expended any energy at all, I could have said to him, No Duhhh Dick Tracy, or responded as Mike Hammer, Lew Archer, Dan Fortune, Ellery Queen, Martin Hewitt, Dr. Priestley, Inspector Morse, or even Jim Rockford, (one of my personal fave’s.) I suppose I should consider that the Great Mouse Detective would not have started this thread if he was not already at his wit’s end, but let’s be honest, - it sure didn’t take him long to get there. Not that I am questioning the veracity of his profile as to him stating that he has a Masters degree, but when the guy writes, huk’d onn fonickss werkkid fo mii, and it takes him three hours to watch 60 minutes, - you know that there must be a village somewhere that’s missing it’s idiot.
You’re absolutely right in so much as, were he to be in some other forum, I would have considered being a bit more disrespectful. As example, - folks who post a blurry microdot photo, usually have something to hide. Open Phillip Marlowe’s profile and click on photo number two. – There should be a biohazard warning given on this before viewing. This picture doesn’t say “hello” – it says BOO!! I’m talking about a walking 365 day a year Halloween Horror Costume that would scare the beegeezus out of Freddie Kruger. There is no possibility anyone else survived that train wreck at all !! –
What in the world is this individual doing on a date line in the first place ?? He needs to go back to having blind dates with blind women. Any letters he says he has received, have to be from mass email scammers, in so much as, what real woman would actually express interest in having a date with partially decomposed road kill ?? - Buzzards circling overhead while you walk down the street traumatizing small children who would cry and run off in terror, can’t be appealing to any of the fairer sex. Even if they felt sorry for him, which is easy to do considering his parents must have been siblings and when he became a product of this union, later found out that the Doctor in the delivery room refused to smack him on the butt, and instead angrily slapped his mother. This certainly inspires sympathy, but even upon learning that his mom flatly refused to breast feed him and instead threw dead bugs at his cage now and then, plus when he got older everyone ignored him completely and not even his Rice Crispies would talk to him, also measure with this, the developmental issues derived from his parents both continuously and emphatically encouraging HIM to run away from home,.. Would this outweigh the inescapable disgust of suffering close interaction with him out of pity alone ?? .. Well,.. - look at the photo again,.. this is a face that makes onions cry when he chops them up, .. it is impossible to consider.
So, while all his contacts may be a lie, this is not to say that he is not an expert on female photos, you KNOW he’s waxed more wood than Pledge while ooggling them. It’s just that he’s trying way to hard to convince the membership that he is besieged by letters from women, when he should instead, be saving his energy and his breath because he’ll probably need it to blow up his date tonight. His arrival here may have been about as welcome as fresh flatulence in an elevator, but it should be noted that I had taken no issue with him until he began treating some of the members as his equal, which is way to disrespectful for me to put up with without saying something. I hope he is happy with his clever new ( and another wasted ) thread, and is clear that there actually are enough famous detectives to last, and that I do not yet consider that I have made any sort of sincere or genuine effort to insult him.
Shakespeare said “Better a witty fool than a foolish wit.”
I thought I’d toss that in, even though it goes without saying that T.J. Hooker just won’t get it.
Sincerely, your friendly neighborhood Viking.
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