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Boundaries in Relationships

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Donna Bellafiore
http://www.new-dating.com
Healthy and Unhealthy Boundaries in Relationships -- Some Examples



Healthy:

Feeling like your own person

Feeling responsible for your own happiness

Togetherness and separateness are balanced

Friendships exist outside of the relationship

Focuses on the best qualities of both people

Achieving intimacy without chemicals

Open, honest and assertive communication

Commitment to the partner

Respecting the differences in the partner

Accepting changes in the relationship

Asking honestly for what is wanted

Accepting endings



Unhealthy:

Feeling incomplete without your partner

Relying on your partner for your happiness

Too much or too little togetherness

Inability to establish and maintain friendships with others

Focuses on the worst qualities of the partners

Using alcohol/drugs to reduce inhibitions and achieve a false sense of intimacy

Game-playing, unwillingness to listen, manipulation

Jealousy, relationship addiction or lack of commitment

Blaming the partner for his or her own unique qualities

Feeling that the relationship should always be the same

Feeling unable to express what is wanted

Unable to let go



Learning to have healthy boundaries is an exciting adventure, an exercise in personal liberation. It means coming to know ourselves and increasing our awareness of what we stand for. It also means self-acceptance and knowing that we are OK as we are and worthy of the good things in life. When two people with healthy boundaries enter into a relationship, they encourage wholeness, independence and a zest for life in their partner. They know that trust is possible and that the normal expected difficulties found in all relationships can be worked on constructively. They can find true intimacy as whole, complete and equal people. The journey to a sense of healthy identity is not always easy but it need not be all that difficult. It often means letting go of some of our old misconceptions about the nature of the world. It means treating ourselves with respect and appreciating ourselves for what we really are. When we can do this for ourselves, we can take the same approach toward our partner and then the true happiness and love that our relationship deserves can become a reality.



As always, I am wishing you peace and serenity as you move forward!






Donna Bellafiore
http://www.new-dating.com

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